Thursday, October 9, 2014

Um...Misspelling, Mean Comments, and Here is What Happend

I just felt strongly about writing this post about what happened after I posted the scarf tutorial for Riley Blake Designs the other day. I really thought that sharing my experience might help others who have gone through the same thing. I will warn you that it will be kind of a lengthy post. If you are not really interested in reading about this well known truth: "The internet can be a brutal place as well as an amazing place" (or maybe it's the other way around) post. I have seen this happen to others, but I never in the 6 years of blogging needed to deal with it. Well, we live and learn right? This is a story about my experience.

So, here is what happened...

I checked to see my post on their blog in the morning, and made sure my post for the giveaway was up on my blog. Then I walked away. Throughout the day, I would publish the comments on my blog, and saw the comments on my Facebook and Instagram and they were fine. I was really busy that day, and I didn't check to see Riley Blake Design's Facebook page.

Long story short, they found a spelling mistake in the title picture after it was published, so we fixed it during the day. I thought it would be fine and didn't think twice. Then... I found out that there were several not really nice comments about me, and about the misspelling of the word left on the Riley Blake Design Facebook page. By the time I found out and read a couple of them, other ones were deleted by the people at Riley Blake. I don't even want to know what had been said.

Before we move on, let me tell you a little of my background, in case you don't know:

I moved here to the United States from Japan when I was 23 years old, and since then it has been a journey to get to this point. In Japan, I learned English from 7th grade to 12th grade. It was mostly memorizing words, grammar and reading from the textbook out loud (of course with a thick Japanese accent!). We pretty much only studied for the exams. We did not study nor attempt real conversations. Also, I had this attitude, "I will never be able to leave this country with my health issues anyways, I don't need English" (boy, talk about teenage attitude) I did poorly in English. Little did I know, a few years later I married the man of my of my dreams and moved here. No family, no friends, and left everything familiar to me behind. The first couple years were very tough, I am not going to lie.

When I was in Japan, unlike the subject of English, I did very well in the subject of Japanese. I read all the time, I wrote essays that were featured in newspapers; I won awards at speech contest and essay contests. Now I want you to imagine... coming from feeling like you are really good with words to BAM! Here I became a caveman. Even though, I knew the words, my pronunciation was bad, so people had a hard time understanding me. I was having a hard time understanding people and was too shy to speak, because I didn't want to sound stupid or child like. If you ever lived in a different country and struggled with the language, you will probably know exactly what I am talking about. It was very humbling, and an eye opening experience for me. Eventually, I attended ESL (English as a second language) and saw many people who were like me. Some of them had really thick accents, or their use of words or grammar was no better than mine, but they kept trying. They had a determination to keep progressing. With their great examples and love and support of my family and friends, I eventually gained more confidence; confidence that I needed to get to this point. I still make mistakes, and sometimes I feel anxious about opening my mouth in front of people I don't really know. But, you know what? Whenever I feel that way, I give myself a little pep talk, "The language is just a tool, the most important thing is to communicate with people!"

When it comes to writing, it is a little different story...

I have been blogging for about 6 years now and even though this is my hobby (as well as partly my business) I take writing good content take very seriously. I also create embroidery/sewing patterns, I make sure there are no mistakes in them. People are willing to spend money on my creations, I want to make sure whatever I produce; either the writing or physical item are high quality and worth their time and money. I especially get worried when I am writing an article for a company or magazine.

After I write everything, I always ask my husband to edit it for me. He is such a supportive and loving husband, the last 6 years, he has been the person behind the scene, editing the content. Without him, I don't think I would be doing this.

That night I wrote the post, I was really tired, and I didn't think that I made the spelling mistake, Mr. TRH was working at the same time when he was editing the content, didn't catch it and the post went live. It hardly ever happens, but it did. Because we are human. So, after I found out about the mean comments and such, I felt mortified and embarrassed, mostly I didn't want my error to reflect poorly on Riley Blake Designs who are so kind and supportive during the whole thing. I just wished I could go back in time and catch the mistake on the picture. Negativity... it is a funny thing. Even when you don't want to think about it, the thoughts creep in your heart and mind. Then, it just keeps growing and festering in your head if you let it. I just wanted to curl up in my bed and pretend I didn't exist. Ugh... then, something amazing happened.

There was an outpouring of supportive comments on the Facebook page that started to appear from people that I became friends with through blogging and even from strangers!! They were so encouraging and kind, it literally made me tear up. If you are reading this and you are one of them, THANK YOU! Your comments turned my worst nightmare moment into an amazing moment. Not only that, some of my blogging friends link-shared the corrected post, so people will be aware of the giveaway I am doing! I don't really know how social networking works but it was amazing to see the different ways you can support your friends on the web. I am going to return the favor if someone is going through the same type of situation. It made a world of difference to me.

I have seen really nasty and hateful comments before left in other peoples' posts. I feel like it happens mostly on Facebook and YouTube. I just don't understand why people take their precious time and effort to leave such comments. What do they get out of doing that? Did they have a bad day, so they feel like it's OK to take it out on others? I feel like they are hiding in a dark ally and jump out at you as soon as you make a mistake saying "HA! got ya!". Also, there are problems in our society with cyberbullying. Just because you are not face to face with that person and you can just walk away does not mean you can be mean and rude? This whole experience gave me a lot to think about. As a mom of three, there are several things that I want to teach my children. Here are some examples:

"Don't say anything when you don't have anything nice to say" (Golden rule)

"It matters how you treat people and how you make them feel. Especially when they don't really matter to you, or when people aren't looking" (I really strive to live by this. This shows who you really are, don't you agree?)

"Words can hurt people, as well as uplift and edify others. Use them wisely." (In the end we become who we are because of our thoughts and action.)

If you can think of more, please share them in the comment section!

I want to clarify that I am not against good constructive criticism when someone is honestly trying to help. But people can tell when you are really being genuine, or just plain mean. One of the comments that was left on the Facebook page that really lifted my spirits up this morning was from a friend who quotes by Dr. Seuss:

" ...those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

When it happened, I really felt sad and gloomy. Though, I know who I am and I know what I have been through to get to this point. I am not letting this put me down nor am I going to stop what I love to do which is to create and share (with misspellings or not!) I will put my chin up and go about my way!

I want to give a big thanks to Riley Blake (and Paige, you are so awesome! I love you!!) from the bottom of my heart for your supportive way of handling the situation. Thanks my blogging friends and my readers for your kind and encouraging words. People like you make this community a brighter place to hang around. Lastly my family... Thank you for being there for me, always. It is because I know have a safe place filled with those who love me despite my countless flaws, I can be who I am and do what I do everyday.

In the end, it's all good.

LOVE YOU ALL

Sachiko




96 comments :

  1. I'm so sorry you were a victim of the internet trolls! You are the most kind person--so genuine and fun. I just love ya Sachiko!

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    1. Thank you Christie! It means a lot to me coming from someone like you. Love you!

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  2. How unbelievable that that happened to you as you are a real sweetie. I follow your blog and love it and to be honest I thought the incorrect spelling was the name of a scarf I hadn't heard about before. LOL! I am sorry that some people saw fit to belittle you. Obviously they don't follow your blog or else they would know your story. Perhaps if they have a blog themselves they might like to write a post in Japanese. ;-)

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    1. Thank you so much for regularly visiting my blog Nanna Chel! It made me smile when you said you thought that the misspelling was the name of a scarf you have never heard of. How sweet of you! Thank you for being such a support.

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  3. mean people are usually jealous. poor mean things.

    you shine. keep up the amazing work!

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    1. Hmm...if people knew my day to day life, they might realize I have some struggles and ups and downs too. It is funny to think that people can be jealous of me... Thank you for your support, I will be keep creating!

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  4. You are the sweetest person I've ever met!! Shame on those negative commenters!!!! Please don't think another minute about what they said (typed). Xoxo

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    1. I have only met you a few times, but I think you are such a thoughtful and awesome person, Sara! I will try not to think about them, I promise. :)

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  5. I'd been wondering about your background.. your story is so understandable for me (I'm Japanese who had lived in the US for four years till last June). So sorry about this experience but please don't stop sharing your great work. You are truely inspiring.

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    1. Thank you nuttablog.com! Part of me understands the risk of being in this position since I am putting myself out there, being a non English speaking person and all. Though, my urge to share my thoughts and my creations out wins the fear. I will keep posting. :)

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  6. Oh my goodness! I can’t believe people. Even native speakers make mistakes. Some people are just trolls and relish being rude behind the safety of their keyboards. Your blog is wonderful and you are so sweet!

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    1. I have heard many times something similar happened to fellow bloggers. This time it was me! I thought that writing the post might help others as well as myself. Thank you for visiting my blog!

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  7. you are one of the kindest friends I have and so talented. It angers me because I hate that I wasn't there to stand up for you and it also saddens me to know people treated YOU. Sachiko. really? people were mean to SACHIKO?? I am so blessed to have you in my life. You are inspiring and beyond generous.

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    1. Agh! Courtney, You are making me cry now! It is so nice to know that I have a friend who will stand up for me. I am the lucky one to have you as my friend. Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it!

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  8. I'm sorry that happened to you. People can be mean. Unfortunately we can get 1000 nice comments and 1 bad one can ruin our day. I had someone comment on something I did and said it was hideous and that I could do better. Even though I knew they were wrong and being a jerk I still remember that comment. All we can do is move on and try to forget about the bad people and comments. You're awesome! Keep up the good work!

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    1. Oh no, it happened to you too? Let's not let it bother us, since that's what they want. :)

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  9. You are one of the sweetest people I've met. Sorry this happened to you. Hugs!

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    1. Oh, thanks Emily! Your hugs are much appreciated!

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  10. I've read both posts - the announcement on your blog and the post at Riley's and I didn't find any typos. Even if I had I wouldn't have raised hell about it! I just wanted to tell you that you've written a beautiful post today and that I admire you or the principles you live by!

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    1. The misspelling was corrected after it got published, but because it was out there for a while, it had a chance for people to look at it. :( Thank you for your support, I always enjoy your comments.

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  11. I am so very sorry that this experience happened to you - I have no idea why people leave mean and hurtful posts on social media - I have no idea what they get out of it - I am not sure if they know how much their thoughtless comments hurt and how destructive they are. I am happy to read that other people sensed the pain this would cause and helped to smooth things over. There are many more kind and sensitive people in the world fortunately than those who are thoughtless and critical as well as being cowards. Your blog is lovely and so are you - sending love and hugs to you.
    Pauline

    perry94022 at hotmail dot com

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    1. You are so right Pauline, there are so many nice people in this world. I am not going to let this experience drag me down. I would love to be the one to sooth my friends, if this happen to them, since I know how hurtful it can be. I think everything we go through means something.

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  13. I really know where you are coming from and it's hard. Even legislation comes with some spelling mistakes... Sometimes they issue corrigendas because of that! That's because we are all humans and make mistakes. I wish crafting blog comments were less schizophrenic: either everything is gorgeous or utter 'crap' (pardon my French). To me there are the: I don't like this print, it would be better if you did... Etc. Keep up your good work, Sashiko!

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    1. I think looking for something good in a person or a situation will be a very important virtue to have. I hope I will be more understanding for others" mistakes when the occasion arises. I learned a lot from this experience. Thank you for the support!

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  14. I read your blog occasionally for its homey feel and your detailed projects and tutorials. I'm really impressed with your journey - and I have a soft spot for Japan:-) I was very sorry to learn that you had been attacked in such a mean manner. Really: it's not you, it's them! That old cliché has never proved more true!

    Hugs from Stockholm, courage!

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    1. Thank you so much for visiting my blog. It is nice to know that you enjoy my tutorials! :)

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  15. I hope you're feeling better after this horrible experience. I don't understand some people. Everyone makes spelling mistakes or little errors. That's what makes us human. These are sad people who made these nasty comments. You are a lovely, kind and sharing person. X

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    1. Thank you for your concern. I am feeling much better today! One of the good qualities I have is that I don't dwell on things too long. It still hurts, but all your loving support has helped me a ton!

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  16. Being mean just for the sake of it is pathetic, especially if this is the only thing that makes someone happy. Your faithful readers and admirers will be there for you anyway!

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    1. Ah, Bairozan thank you so much! I appreciate that you leave comments often on my blog. Knowing that someone like you is enjoying my blog, keeps me going.

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  17. you know what "f# them"... As a teacher I know for sure, the kids nowadays don't care about spelling anymore (at least not how we know spelling)...within 20 tears those nose pickers will have to write nasty comments about spelling on (almost) every blogpost :o)
    keep up the good work!
    greets from Belgium!

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    1. I think it is important to care about spelling and grammar. Sometimes I correct my kids when they are talking incorrectly. Funny huh. :) There is always a kind and gentle approach, when correcting others' mistakes, wouldn't you agree?

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  18. Unbelievable, but you are so much better than that. Keep positive. We love reading you, with mistakes or not. We are all human. Just ignore those trolls. Have a good weekend x

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    1. Thanks Carla. I appreciate your encouragement, I will keep creating and writing. :)

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  19. I am a teacher - I have at least one spelling mistake every day on the Board. I can't believe People corncern themselves about such a small thing. As you said, so well, we are all People. It is human to make mistakes!!!

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    1. As a mom, I want my kids to care about spelling and such. At the same time, I want them to grow up to be kind to others. :)

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  20. I'm so sorry that this happened. You are wonderful and have the support of so many! I'm going to go out and leave kind comments on every blog I read in order to combat the mean ones out there. Thank you for the reminders about the golden rule and being a good person even if no one is watching. You are great and have such a lovely blog and awesome tutorials. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Way to go Julie! I love your plan to leave kind comments everywhere in blog land! I should do that too. :) Thank you for visiting my blog and for such kind words.

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  21. Hi Sachiko-san,
    I am so sorry that you had to deal with such contemptible comments and mean people who left those comments. I truly understand what you've been going through since I have a very similar situation to yours. (I married to an American guy and moved to the US where I have never thought I would live in.) This is the 9th year living in this country and I am still nervous about talking in English and shy to meet new people. Thank you for posting your experience, your deep thoughts about this bad event and what finally saved you from your deep twinge. That encourages me a lot by knowing that there are people who are in the similar situation to myself and everybody is trying and being helped by others. I hope you are having a good weekend and am looking forward to seeing your beautiful work on and on!!

    さちこさん、どうもありがとう!今後のご活躍を楽しみにしています!

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    1. Thank you for your encouraging words、 Hiromi! I thought writing my experience would help others who have been in the same situation, but it actually helped me more. As I wrote in my post, I won't stop creating and blogging! :)
      私のブログを読んでくださって、本当にありがとう!

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  22. So sorry... I know about living in a country with a different language... and a different writing too!! When I was 20 I went to Greece and stay working in Tessaloniki, in the north. When arrived, I suddenly realized that I can't understand people (and I speak spanish, english and french) but I can't read the texts (names of the streets, advices, anything!) 'cause they are written in greek alphabet. Terrible. Fun. Everything at the same time.
    I remember get into a little shop looking for pegs, for hanging clothes. The man in the shop speaks greek... and serbian. He was a really nice man and we have fun triying to understand one to each other, but sometimes I get so frustrated that I can scream. At this time, no one makes fun about me not know how to speak or read greek, and sometimes it becames really hard. So I could not imagine how hard it has been for you.
    Greetings from South Spain.

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    1. The first two years were the hardest, but it has been so much better since then. I make mistakes daily in my speaking and writing, but usually it is not a big deal. This time though...my post had a lot more exposure and that resulted in some mean comments. Thank you so much for your support, I will get over this soon. :)

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  23. You are such a talented lady and so sweet. I have been following you for years and look forward to your posts. It is so 'a sign of the times' that some are so hateful and mean-spirited. I have not seen the posts.I am surprised that this type of 'bullying' has taken place on a site that sewers and crafters follow. Don't let a few spoil your success and life. There are many, many more of us that admire you and your family. We are blessed that you blog.

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    1. Thank you so much for visiting regularly, GunnyMom! The mean comments on the FB page on Riley Blake have been deleted. I really appreciate your support and sweet words.

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  24. So sorry this happened to you...I don't do facebook, so I had no idea all those things were happening. Some people really don't have anything better to do, do they? All those just for misspelling? I think some people are are miserable and jealous of people who have good things going on, like you! In crafting community people are generally nice, and follow the golden rule above. Those who don't are not your true followers.
    I have lived in Japan half of my life, and another half in the U.S. I feel I should not say "English is not my native language" any more after all these years, but truth is, I will never speak , or write, at the native level. Your English is much better than mine!

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    1. As you said, I have met many nice and kind people through blogging. I also want to believe people are generally nice. When things like this happen, my first reaction is shock. I guess I should grow some thick skin, of course without becoming bitter. Thank you for your support!

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  25. Sachiko you are my hero! You have always been such a good example to me. You were always patient with me and questions about japanese whatever my mistakes. You are always someone I can look up to. Lacee (ex-Lambert) Black

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  26. Peace be with you, Sachiko. Let the poor behavior and mean-spiritedness of others be their problem, not yours. I add a humility block to each quilt just to remind myself and the quilt's recipient that imperfections are what reminds us we are alive and human.
    Your sweet nature and ESL self-doubt make you more vulnerable to bullying. The best medicine is to laugh at their meanness and pray for their healing.

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    1. Great idea! Laughter is the best medicine for everything. :) I am pretty much over it, mostly because of you and many others' kindness and support. Thank you!

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  27. You are a doll! I have been a blog follower of yours since the beginning. I started a blog once upon a time... even got up to about 150 followers. (which was soooo huge for me) I posted a project and all it took was one troll to make me second guess everything. I totally understand how one mean comment can affect you and your feelings. I folded, I hope you are stronger than I and keep on going! So many people enjoy your blog! They are called Trolls for a reason!

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    1. Oh, I am sorry that happened to you too. :( It's just mind boggling to me how some people can be mean to others over small things! Thank you so much for your kind words they mean a lot to me, and yes, I won't stop what I love to do because of this. :)

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  28. Ohh, I am SO sorry that you had this negative experience, but glad that many responded positively! Somehow I missed the comotion when it was happening. I have a daughter who lives in Sweden with her fabulous husband and two wonderful children, and a son (her twin) who lives in Japan with his lovely wife and their newborn daughter. Living in another country is a difficult process, and you are accomplishing so much! Congrats on your great attitude!

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    1. Thank you! Living in a different country can be challenging, but it is also very fun and eye opening. I hope your daughter and her family can experience many wonderful things.

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  29. I missed all the drama, but I think your writing is better than most native-English speakers! I love your work, & the gentle, gracious way you present it. Congrats to you for holding your head high!

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    1. Thank you! I do not like drama, but I really felt like I needed to write about this instead of hiding under the covers and being sorry for myself. It turned out to be a wonderful experience; knowing I have so much loving support from many of you!

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  30. Wow, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I was a communication specialist for almost 30 years and think your communication style is wonderful (better than some native speakers.) I'm so happy that you have felt supported by your followers and that you are shaking off all that negativity. I agree with you about pondering why some people waste precious time being mean. I think your followers love you even more by the graciousness of your response.

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    1. I am so grateful for the many kind and encouraging people that have stepped up to support me. :)

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  31. I have often wondered the same thing, why people would take their precious time to make mean comments, and what do they get out of it? You are very inspiring, and it's amazing how far you've come. I love your blog and have been a faithful reader for several years now.

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    1. It hasn't been easy to learn English, but it is totally worth it. Thank you so much for your loving support, I appreciate it very much!

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  32. I'm so sorry for what happened to you. It is beyond my comprehension why people who don't know you have to be so mean and critical. I love your blog and your ideas so much that I shared it with friends and even my daughter who is a non crafter, learning to sew. I knew that your transformations of your clothes would inspire her to be creative. She loves the things you do, and so do I. I hope you don't let these people out there in blogland define you. Keep up the good work and put this behind you. I can't wait for your next idea to enter my mailbox.

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    1. Thank you so much for your encouraging words, Jan! I do LOVE to create, write (even with misspellings and wrong grammar!) and share them on my blog. I promise I will not let this experience stop me. :)

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  33. You are such a great person! I am so sorry this happened! You are fabulous and so so so so talented! They obviously were jealous of your amazing work!!!

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    1. Kristina! You have been such a great support for me. Knowing that I have a friend like you to step up and give me encouragement, makes me feel stronger. Thank you for your friendship!

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  34. I am so sorry you had to deal with this. The lack of tolerance and compassion in our country is embarrassing and shameful. No wonder our country is hated by so many. You are precious and so sweet to share so much with us. I know it is hard to do, but try to focus on the positive.

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    1. Oh, it is not just America, there is the same type of problem in Japan too. It is sad that many people are so short tempered. I think it is all about choice; what we say and do daily makes us who we are... Thank you for your loving comment. :)

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  35. It never ceases to amaze me how horrible some people can be when they comment on the internet. If they need to belittle other people just in order to feel good about themselves then they are the ones with a problem. I know it's easier to say than to do, but take no notice of them. Your blog is awesome and your English is excellent

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    1. Thank you Christine! I am pretty much over it, and I am focusing on the good things in my life. :)

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  36. Oh dear! That's so mean of people! My first language is not English either and I know it's difficult to express yourself sometimes. Don't let those comments ruin your resolve! I think you are very talented and it would be a shame not to share your lovely projects with us! Even if you make mistakes sometimes! In fairness we all make them!

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    1. Thank you Dracualsh! It is hard sometimes, I mean not being able to describe exactly what I want to say in English. Though, I love communicating with people, and I definitely won't let this experience define who I am. :)

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  37. I lived in Japan for 3 1/2 years and there was no way I could master even a small portion of Japanese. No way could I even dream to write in your language. I find the Internet to be a brutal place but there are people like you who make it a very nice place to be. I live very near you in Saratoga Springs. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Hi neighbor! :) Thank you so much for your comment, I appreciate it very much!

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  38. Sachiko, you are wonderful! But why so awful going through some minor stumbling ?! Many, many greetings

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    1. Thank you for your comment marga. When it happened I was so sad, but reading all the kind and supportive comments/emails helped me tons! I am pretty much over it. :)

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  39. People really need to check their priorities in this world and really need to think about the way that they behave on the internet (as well as real life)

    So sorry that you had to go through this. But I am glad that it ultimately displayed the best of human nature, not just the worst.

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  40. Seriously...I still don't understand how some people behave, but this experience taught me many things. I am so grateful for all of your support. Thank you so much!

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  41. As a German, who lived as an au-pair in England for a while, I totally undrrdtand how you felt. It is hard to find the right words in a foreign language and to spell them right.

    Please stay happy with your wonderful work and creativity. The brainless people should stay just one day in Japan and they'll shut up. Or any other country in the world.

    You are a wonderful person. Thanks for sharing all your wonderful stuff with us.

    Big hug and an extra portion of energy your way.

    Ines from across the ocean. :)

    PS: hope I hit the right keys. I sometimes get the wrong letters pressed. ;)

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    1. Thanks Ines for your kind words. You are so sweet! I promise to keep creating and being happy.

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  42. Sachiko, bless you for all you do - and thank you for all the beautiful projects and stories you have shared with us over the years. Pat

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    1. Thank you for your support, Pat! Sharing my projects is a pleasure and thank you for reading my blog. :)

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  43. I saved this on my feed reader when you posted it...and am late getting here to comment. But, I want to add my story.
    I grew up in the US but, although my family has been in the US since sometime in the 1700's, our native tongue is a German dialect. I learned that first and it wasn't until I started school that I perfected my English. As a kindergartner and 1st grader, I was deeply impressed by the fact that many of the children with a similar background were picked on because of a thick German accent. I was a fairly shy kid then, don't remember if I did much talking. What I do remember is picking a classmate and copying her speech patterns and voice inflections...and being good at it. Apparently, the rest of my family can also do this as my immediate family are among the only people I know of our background whose English does not sound strange. But- I can totally empathize with you. I remember the feeling of pressure as a kid to not sound different than everyone else.
    And even now, as a 40+ year old adult, there are English phrases that I have to consciously think about in order to say them correctly.
    I moved to Ukraine 14 years ago and once again live in a culture where I deal with a non-native tongue every day. I'm so thankful for these people's patience with my Ukrainian; and as an English teach at a local university, I am very patient with my students' English. For the most part, I learned English perfectly because I started in on it as a child; I will never learn Ukr'n perfectly; my students will not learn Eng perfectly. But to cope everyday with a language that is not your native tongue can be discouraging and over-whelming. It also vastly expands your character. My hat is off to you for your courage...and especially for your courage to blog in a non-native language! xoxo

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  44. Ah yes- something I meant to include in my previous comment. Your English is actually much better than that of a lot of native speakers. It is appalling how awful many native speakers are when it comes to grammar. They can't spell and they don't know some of the basic rules. The internet is a great way to accentuate this! So... don't let these people get you down! :)

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  45. I have had exactly the experience of moving to a different country and facing the uphill battle to learn the language (I'm doing that right now, in China) and for that reason, I will always have compassion on linguistic mistakes. Besides--a misspelling is not nearly as big of a deal as most people make it out to be--definitely not worth the mean words!

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  46. You are such a brave, patient, loving woman. Thank you for writing this and for letting us see the strength of your heart. You are an inspiration!

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  47. Dear Sachiko, you are a very nice person with a gentle soul and this is the reason because those bad and stupid comments hurted you so much. I'm Italian and also my english is not the best. I lived for 3 years away from Italy and at the beginning I felt exactly like you wrote as a stupid woman who couldn't understand what people said and especially, couldn't explain what I would like to say. After a long time I was able to use better this language but I remember the face of those who didn't appreciate my efforts and treated me in a different way. And...the jungle of social network world is worst, because they have the pc as a weapon and they feel lions without watching you in your eyes. It happened to me also with people who I know in normal life ( I work with them in my office); they decided and choose to write to
    me bad things in the Fb profile or during a whatsap conversation. Isn't that crazy? Yes. It hurts because with all that technology we stopped to use mind and put all our frustrations on web. Every other fault is the worst and we are saints in this world. Fortunately , it's also possible to find nice people like you that feel like you feel and hope yet to meet a good humanity. Thank you for your post. Baci. Barbara

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  48. Sometimes it is better to not worry about people who treat others that way! You know that you are a good person and that's all that matters. People who make bad comments are not happy in their life and should not try to make others feel bad .... I love all your postings and I don't care if words are misspelled ! You are great!!! Keep up the great work!

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  49. THANK YOU! Thank you, for sharing!
    I came to this country at 24 years of age. I used to be really good at my own language (which happens to be German). I was pretty good at English as well, but as it is, it was always a second language. I never thought I would leave home and need it on a daily basis.
    Then I came here and Words failed me. I just didn't have the vocabulary. I went from using "five dollar words", to the basics. It is a horrible feeling! One wants to engage and not sound stupid, or repetitive, but it's just not always possible with a limited vocabulary. it is not that one is not well read, but one sounds like it. Specially if one really IS well read (although in a different language) that is hard to swallow.
    I don't have a thick accent and people always have a hard time placing, where I am from, but it is still noticeable. Because I use different words than most people here.
    Thank you so much for posting this. I am so glad to see that I am not alone!

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    1. It is generally thought that foreign speakers are *stupid*. But the inability to communicate in the same terms is by no means a lack of intelligence. Kudos for learning English! Teaching my son how to read, has made me realize what a difficult language I speak.

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  50. I have something that I've taught my children. They are both grown now. We have never been in a position to actually be angry with each other since they were young at home, anyway.
    About a month ago my daughter that handles all of my business and finances, got frustrated with me. She started texting me from work, and was very angry (which I've taught them comes from frustration at times). I texted her back and basically said that this communication is over for me. Because when you say hurtful things to loved ones, in anger, they don't forget them. When we are both calm, have had time to think of how to solve the problem, we will have a discussion and solve the issue. She stopped, still angry, but knows this fact. We've discussed it and put solution in the system we use. Solved, done, no hurt feelings.
    I've had a medical situation where I died, was recussitated (spell that spell check monster, LOL ). So I have problems with even simple math and understanding what to sign and when to wait for her to sign as appropriate. I am the most grateful and appreciate all of the loving kindness she has for me it it's hard to believe I helped raise such a brilliant and compassionate woman.
    Honestly, with the spell check monster so active, we all make mistakes with incorrect spelling and context. I'm trying to remember to always proof my stuff before I release it to the world wide web.
    I just found your blog today, from a referral at All free sewing, for your beautiful dress. It is just what I've been looking for, the modest top is my style choice as well. Thanks.

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  51. dear sachiko, i haven't even read your post fully but got a gist-my response would be scrunch up comments less than nice or anything that topples your calm and, throw it away like you would do with a piece of paper. I feel compelled to post this comment cos i am always encouraging people who are not first language english speakers by giving the example of japanese and french who take such pride or are simply comfortable speaking english as second language as it suits them i.e with no worry abt how it will be perceived by the listener. it is very late night here and i have a toothache and one finger typing. pls. forgive me if my comment doesn't make full sense or typos etc. u have the most lovely blog and soul that shines though all you share, and i wish you and all readers lots of tearosehome joy.

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  52. It is very difficult to learn a different language. You do a great job! But communication isn't all about perfection. It is also about striving to understand what is said/written. My husband doesn't spell very well, but every letter I had from him was precious and I took the time to understand. This is love and it is something prideful people don't have "time" to invest in: true relationship.

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  53. I'm so sorry these people have to be so mean. In reality you are smarter than most people because of the fact that you know more than one language, when they probably don't. I'm really careful about my spelling also. I always had really high grades in my English classes, I go back and reread things before sending or posting and I still make mistakes. It happens to everyone, so we needs to let it go and move on, when we see it

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