Monday, August 10, 2015
20 years - that is 7,305 days or 240 month or 175,320 hours. That is a LOT of time to spend time with someone.
Today Mr. TRH and I have been married for 20 years. When we first got married we were dirt poor. When he proposed to me, he just started college and had a part-time job. When we got married, my only possessions were the things I could pack in one tiny suitcase when I moved to America from Japan (I had to leave my sewing machine behind because it was too expensive to ship!).
The first few years were very difficult for me because I only spoke little to no English. I had no family or friends here. I missed my mother, sister and my friends so much. Because I had a very dysfunctional family life growing up, I thought I wouldn't be homesick, but I was. Away from those people I loved and living in a different country and culture was much tougher than I thought.
Mr. TRH always made sure that I knew he loved me by calling me several times a day, taking me out on a night drive for our small dates even though he was tired from going to work and school full time. He was very patient with my language too. He always told me that "If you have bad grammar, but your pronunciation is good, people would understand you. If you have perfect grammar but speak with bad pronunciation, people would have a hard time understanding you." --- We don't have the "R" sound in Japanese, so it was difficult for me to pronounce the "R". For example, words like "girl", "guitar", "really"; anything with an r or a words had both r's and l's were very tricky for me. There were times that I thought it was so annoying he made me say the same words over and over again but I am so thankful he did that for me. He was never mean, or made fun of me. I knew he did that for my own good so I could be confident and independent in this new country.
I wrote about my medical conditions in my past post: you can read some of them here or here if you are new to my blog. Throughout our 20 years of marriage, I had countless doctors visits, procedures and hospitalizations. When there is a medical issue, there was also stress about money, care-giving, and the care-givers. Since my condition is not curable, medical issues will always be a part of our lives.
Mr. TRH never made me feel like he drew the short end of the stick or that I am less desirable as a wife. When I was bedridden for several months, almost every day he came home for lunch to make sure I was ok and ate lunch with me. If I was in the hospital, he came to see me as much as he could. Whenever I am coming out of a procedure and if the first person I see is him, I immediately felt comforted and secure.
Over the years, we were blessed with three beautiful children, but raising them wasn't an easy task for me when they were little. Our children are very healthy and active. Especially my older two boys... They were WAY TOO ACTIVE with my physical limitations sometimes. I had to be creative; I survived those years, but looking back, there was no way I could have done it without Mr. TRH's help.
Mr. TRH isn't an absent father. He is always there for our children and involved with their lives. We are so fortunate that he has a somewhat flexible job, and is able to attend Parent teacher conference, field trips, school plays, etc. He plays with them, sits down and watches their favorite shows on TV, and talks with them a lot.
As I mentioned in the beginning, when I moved to America, I had to part with most of my possessions. They are just things, but it was hard for me to say good-bye to my sewing items, and fabrics I collected over the years.
In our second year of marriage, he surprised me with a sewing machine. When I saw the machine on our dining table it literally (this is another difficult word to say!) took my breath away! I didn't think we could afford a sewing machine for a long time because there were so many other things we needed.
Mr. TRH has been always very supportive of my interests and hobbies. As a young girl, I realized that I wanted to be a designer when I grew up. Life took an interesting turn and I became a wife and a mother, which I am so thankful for, but my desire to design and to create has always been there. Even though I am not a big time designer or anything; it has been so much fun to share what I have created on my blog. Over the years I have been given many opportunities to work with magazines and companies and I gained a new appreciation and respect for the people who are in the industry. Every time when I have an opportunity to be creative, Mr. TRH is so happy for me and encourages me to try it. Eventhough half the time I feel like I am not qualified for the task.
"I don't have much right now, but I will make you smile for the rest of your life and eternity if you marry me."
Amazingly, he has kept these words he said twenty one years ago. At the time my decision to marry him didn't make sense to many people around me, but in my heart I knew I was doing the right thing. Against all the odds we are still together and very happy. Sure we have ups and downs like many other couples do, but I can't stay mad at him too long. We laugh a lot, finish each other's sentence, and I can't wait to see him at night.
He and I had our special anniversary trip in June. These are our pictures goofing around as always. He dislike taking pictures, but I asked him because this was a special occasion. I pushed his sunglasses up so I could see his eyes.
20 years, 7305 days, 240 month, or 175,320 hours is a long time, but I feel like the past amazing 20 years has gone by in a flash. I can't think of anyone else but him to spend the rest of forever with. Thank you so much Mr. TRH for being there for me, always.
Happy 20th, Honey!