I just felt strongly about writing this post about what happened after I posted the scarf tutorial for Riley Blake Designs the other day. I really thought that sharing my experience might help others who have gone through the same thing. I will warn you that it will be kind of a lengthy post. If you are not really interested in reading about this well known truth: "The internet can be a brutal place as well as an amazing place" (or maybe it's the other way around) post. I have seen this happen to others, but I never in the 6 years of blogging needed to deal with it. Well, we live and learn right? This is a story about my experience.
So, here is what happened...
I checked to see my post on their blog in the morning, and made sure my post for the giveaway was up on my blog. Then I walked away. Throughout the day, I would publish the comments on my blog, and saw the comments on my Facebook and Instagram and they were fine. I was really busy that day, and I didn't check to see Riley Blake Design's Facebook page.
Long story short, they found a spelling mistake in the title picture after it was published, so we fixed it during the day. I thought it would be fine and didn't think twice. Then... I found out that there were several not really nice comments about me, and about the misspelling of the word left on the Riley Blake Design Facebook page. By the time I found out and read a couple of them, other ones were deleted by the people at Riley Blake. I don't even want to know what had been said.
Before we move on, let me tell you a little of my background, in case you don't know:
I moved here to the United States from Japan when I was 23 years old, and since then it has been a journey to get to this point. In Japan, I learned English from 7th grade to 12th grade. It was mostly memorizing words, grammar and reading from the textbook out loud (of course with a thick Japanese accent!). We pretty much only studied for the exams. We did not study nor attempt real conversations. Also, I had this attitude, "I will never be able to leave this country with my health issues anyways, I don't need English" (boy, talk about teenage attitude) I did poorly in English. Little did I know, a few years later I married the man of my of my dreams and moved here. No family, no friends, and left everything familiar to me behind. The first couple years were very tough, I am not going to lie.
When I was in Japan, unlike the subject of English, I did very well in the subject of Japanese. I read all the time, I wrote essays that were featured in newspapers; I won awards at speech contest and essay contests. Now I want you to imagine... coming from feeling like you are really good with words to BAM! Here I became a caveman. Even though, I knew the words, my pronunciation was bad, so people had a hard time understanding me. I was having a hard time understanding people and was too shy to speak, because I didn't want to sound stupid or child like. If you ever lived in a different country and struggled with the language, you will probably know exactly what I am talking about. It was very humbling, and an eye opening experience for me. Eventually, I attended ESL (English as a second language) and saw many people who were like me. Some of them had really thick accents, or their use of words or grammar was no better than mine, but they kept trying. They had a determination to keep progressing. With their great examples and love and support of my family and friends, I eventually gained more confidence; confidence that I needed to get to this point. I still make mistakes, and sometimes I feel anxious about opening my mouth in front of people I don't really know. But, you know what? Whenever I feel that way, I give myself a little pep talk, "The language is just a tool, the most important thing is to communicate with people!"
When it comes to writing, it is a little different story...
I have been blogging for about 6 years now and even though this is my hobby (as well as partly my business) I take writing good content take very seriously. I also create embroidery/sewing patterns, I make sure there are no mistakes in them. People are willing to spend money on my creations, I want to make sure whatever I produce; either the writing or physical item are high quality and worth their time and money. I especially get worried when I am writing an article for a company or magazine.
After I write everything, I always ask my husband to edit it for me. He is such a supportive and loving husband, the last 6 years, he has been the person behind the scene, editing the content. Without him, I don't think I would be doing this.
That night I wrote the post, I was really tired, and I didn't think that I made the spelling mistake, Mr. TRH was working at the same time when he was editing the content, didn't catch it and the post went live. It hardly ever happens, but it did. Because we are human. So, after I found out about the mean comments and such, I felt mortified and embarrassed, mostly I didn't want my error to reflect poorly on Riley Blake Designs who are so kind and supportive during the whole thing. I just wished I could go back in time and catch the mistake on the picture. Negativity... it is a funny thing. Even when you don't want to think about it, the thoughts creep in your heart and mind. Then, it just keeps growing and festering in your head if you let it. I just wanted to curl up in my bed and pretend I didn't exist. Ugh... then, something amazing happened.
There was an outpouring of supportive comments on the Facebook page that started to appear from people that I became friends with through blogging and even from strangers!! They were so encouraging and kind, it literally made me tear up. If you are reading this and you are one of them, THANK YOU! Your comments turned my worst nightmare moment into an amazing moment. Not only that, some of my blogging friends link-shared the corrected post, so people will be aware of the giveaway I am doing! I don't really know how social networking works but it was amazing to see the different ways you can support your friends on the web. I am going to return the favor if someone is going through the same type of situation. It made a world of difference to me.
I have seen really nasty and hateful comments before left in other peoples' posts. I feel like it happens mostly on Facebook and YouTube. I just don't understand why people take their precious time and effort to leave such comments. What do they get out of doing that? Did they have a bad day, so they feel like it's OK to take it out on others? I feel like they are hiding in a dark ally and jump out at you as soon as you make a mistake saying "HA! got ya!". Also, there are problems in our society with cyberbullying. Just because you are not face to face with that person and you can just walk away does not mean you can be mean and rude? This whole experience gave me a lot to think about. As a mom of three, there are several things that I want to teach my children. Here are some examples:
"Don't say anything when you don't have anything nice to say" (Golden rule)
"It matters how you treat people and how you make them feel. Especially when they don't really matter to you, or when people aren't looking" (I really strive to live by this. This shows who you really are, don't you agree?)
"Words can hurt people, as well as uplift and edify others. Use them wisely." (In the end we become who we are because of our thoughts and action.)
If you can think of more, please share them in the comment section!
I want to clarify that I am not against good constructive criticism when someone is honestly trying to help. But people can tell when you are really being genuine, or just plain mean. One of the comments that was left on the Facebook page that really lifted my spirits up this morning was from a friend who quotes by Dr. Seuss:
" ...those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
When it happened, I really felt sad and gloomy. Though, I know who I am and I know what I have been through to get to this point. I am not letting this put me down nor am I going to stop what I love to do which is to create and share (with misspellings or not!) I will put my chin up and go about my way!
I want to give a big thanks to Riley Blake (and Paige, you are so awesome! I love you!!) from the bottom of my heart for your supportive way of handling the situation. Thanks my blogging friends and my readers for your kind and encouraging words. People like you make this community a brighter place to hang around. Lastly my family... Thank you for being there for me, always. It is because I know have a safe place filled with those who love me despite my countless flaws, I can be who I am and do what I do everyday.
In the end, it's all good.
LOVE YOU ALL
Sachiko
