Note: If you are a new reader of my blog, or not a regular reader and don't know what I am going to talk about, read My Life So Far first. :)
Yesterday, when I was tucking you into bed, I asked you how you thought about my visit in your class. You were so excited that I was there, and that made me so happy. I also, jokingly asked you, "Hey, did your friends say, Oh Michael you are so lucky, your mom is so awesome and pretty?" (Really, I was joking by the way)
Instead of laughing, you shook your head sideways with a sad look on your face so I knew immediately there was something wrong.
I asked you "What's wrong?" and you hesitantly said "Well, some kids said, your mom is legless."(Now that I think of it, Legless isn't very original or unique; it's just stating a fact. Maybe they were just curious. Remember, they are only 8 years old, just like you.)
Wow, talk about a sting in your heart. Growing up I got bullied or teased about missing a limb or having a prosthetic limb, so I thought I was used to those comments, but I wasn't expecting to hear that at that moment. It totally caught me off guard. It stings... Ouch.
Then you said, "Don't worry, next time when someone says that about you, I will punch them and break their nose."
Your declaration totally melted my heart. You have been such a sweetheart from day 1. You always make me laugh, help me with things around the house and give me lots of hugs and kisses every day. You have a lion’s heart, strong, brave and always a defender of our family.
But Michael, I want you to remember what I told you last night. People say wrong things sometimes; whether it's either intentional, or not. If we had a different set of eyes most of us would be in a wheel chair, because our feet are constantly in our mouths.
You can't go around punching people whenever they say the wrong things and hurt your feelings.
I guess what I want to say is that, you can't control what comes out from their mouths, but you can control how you react to it. It is not easy, in fact, I struggle sometimes too.
One thing I know though, you can either get offended, hold grudges and live a miserable life or not to get offended so easily and move on. It is not easy at first, but the last one works much better for your own good.
Don't let hurtful words or situations define who you are or who you are becoming. When you know that you didn't do anything wrong and people are still mean to you, use them as a tool to become a better you.
I wish I could run, or go for a long walk with you but I can't. But one thing I am very hopeful is that my children might have a high chance of being kind and compassionate. Just remember how you felt when the boy said, "Your mom is legless". It didn't feel good did it? So, when you meet someone who is different or disabled, be kind to them and become a friend to them. It's just because you think you are healthier, smarter or in a grown-up case richer doesn't make you superior. What matter is what's in your heart.
One last thing...
I am not ashamed of my condition; in fact I look at health issues I have and think how can I deal with this and become a better person. Some days are harder than others, but I keep working on it. Ultimately, that's what we are here for, to learn and to grow spiritually.
So you shouldn't be ashamed of my leglessness either. (It's not in the dictionary, so don't even look it up). Keep your head up high and move on!
I know I have been blessed with many things, and you are one of my top rated blessings. I love you so so much Michael, and I hope you know that.
If a fairy appeared from somewhere and told me I can get a new leg, but in return I have to trade in one of my children, I would turn it down. That is something I am so sure about.
I realized it now, what that sting meant I felt in my heart when you told me about the comment. The sting wasn’t for me, it was for YOU. I felt sad, because I imagined how you must have felt when he said what he said.
Being a mom taught me many things over the years, but I realized something today. I am so blessed because I am surrounded by people that I care so much more about than myself.
Thank you Michael for letting me be your mom.